Feeling warm, inside and out!

Whenever I'm lonely, I just have to think of these people -- who I know are with me in spirit 24/7! They "light up" my life!

Never been more homesick than now......

Sometimes you just never know when you are the answer to someone's prayer. I've prayed often that my own prayers would be answered, but perhaps my desires should be turned to how can I be that "angel among us" that blesses some one else?

Recently I became close friends with a sweet gal that told me she had never been quite so homesick as she was right now. I thought of the times I have been homesick and it made me ponder....just what does it mean to be homesick? 

I came across a saying that reads, "The worst feeling in the world is the homesickness that comes over a man occasionally when he is at home”. It made me think that perhaps the true meaning of homesick may not have any thing to do with home but rather with people and situations we are longing for.

I remember when I was an exchange student in Japan. I longed for family, friends, food, country, and familiar surroundings. I don't know that I was ever more patriotic for my homeland than any other time. Although I appreciate other cultures and beauties of the earth, there just never is anything as comforting than the memories you have of "familiar things".

This picture was taken in August of 2008. We were gathered for my father's funeral. Although this was a sad time for us all in losing someone so special, it gave us the opportunity to forget the world and reunite together. We laughed, cried, remembered and celebrated the life and memories of my Dad. Seems like such a simpler season now that I look back on that time. I get homesick for my Dad and mostly just about the way things "used to be". 

It's hard to believe that this picture was taken only one month before my dad's passing. He always looked so good, even when he was at his sickest and painful times. I get homesick for his humor and his counsel. What a wonderful man!

Speaking of humor, it seems I've been blessed with a lot of that in my life. Here are my "men in black" --styling their hats, their sunglasses and their watches. What a happy time! Thomas is so far away and I know he has to long for the familiar things we shared while he was here. I know we do! So glad Jon could share in those times with us!

I suppose the best thing about being homesick is there are reunions! What a great memory it was to surprise Kenny for his 30th birthday! Something about when you are a mom, you long for your children on their birthdays!  So much reflection and gratitude for the opportunity of having these offspring "loaned" to us while we are here on earth!

This gathering was in Utah to celebrate time with Jeremy! Seems like yesterday, but yet seems like an eternity ago. It's hard having your family away from you but makes the times together even more appreciated. I expect I will take as many trips to his home as possible as he will give us our first grandchild in August! I suppose that separation will give a whole new definition of "homesickness"!

Most of your know our "baby" got married this Fall and we were able to have Katelyn and her husband live with us for 4 months before they returned to college/married life. This picture was taken on an American Idol tour we went on together. Oh how I miss those special times we had together but I know we will yet have many more in the future!

In fact one of those times will be next week! Ken and I will travel together to meet all our kids and their spouses in Utah. We will go to a Gonzaga/BYU basketball game. We will be wearing RED! Go ZAGS!

Another definition for homesickness that I came across shared this idea, “It is a curious emotion, this certain homesickness I have in mind. With Americans, it is a national trait, as native to us as the roller-coaster or the jukebox. It is no simple longing for the home town or country of our birth. The emotion is Janus-faced: we are torn between a nostalgia for the familiar and an urge for the foreign and strange. As often as not, we are homesick most for the places we have never known.”

Although I have much yet to do on this earth, I look forward to the time when we will go to heaven. A place that may be unfamiliar, but yet feel at home. Can you imagine the reunion we will have there? I suppose if I had to give this homesickness a definition of my own it would be.....longing for the familiar, appreciating the past so much that we long for it again.

This music probably tells it better than I can. "Homesick" by Mercyme!

I Always Wished for a daughter....

When I was pregnant with my 4th child, the physicians told me there was no medical possibility of carrying the pregnancy to full term. They advised terminating the pregnancy. We couldn't do that and waited for nature to take its course. As months passed, the medical team gave no reasonable answers to the continuation of the pregnancy. Of course we knew that Priesthood blessings and a loving Heavenly Father was in charge and we were anticipating our miracle to arrive.

I had always dreamed of have a daughter, but again the physicians told me we would be blessed with another son, making 4 boys. Because my pregnancies were high-risk, they also recommended that this be my last pregnancy. We accepted the idea that this was our last baby and I was to be the mother of sons. 

The nursery was painted blue and on the eve of the delivery, "my men" went to the airport to pick up Grandma Jacobson. She was coming to help during my scheduled C-Section the following morning. Our 3 year old son, Jon, greeted Grandma and excitedly exclaimed, "Tomorrow my SISTER is coming from heaven"! Everyone shrugged their shoulders and thought how silly a 3 year old could be!

Miracle after miracle occurred during these 9 months and much to our surprise our baby was born on November 20, 1990, and IT was a GIRL! Katelyn has continued to surprise us throughout her life. As much as I love my boys (and that's a lot!) my life became complete with the birth of a daughter.

Never did I realize that I would equally be blessed with becoming the mother of two additional daughters, through the marriages of our sons. I couldn't have chosen more suitable daughters than I've received. I love you Katelyn, McKensie, and Jerah! My wishes have come true!

I have many dreams of good things to come in our lives. The best part is that this in not a dream anymore -- it is reality. Here are a few of the things that I wish for you! (See video clip!)

Christmas' Past.....Gift of a phone call......tender mercies!

Here is a great memory.......a Christmas past. This picture was taken in 2008 ~ oh, how our lives have changed since that day! Funny how Christmas "present" leads us to Christmas' "past". We reminisce about the good times we hold in our hearts!

In Charles Dickens, "A Christmas Carol", he talks about the Ghost of Christmas' past. As I thought about how I wished we could be visited by a ghost of the past, some miracles started to occur in my life. I don't think they were coincidence! I believe they were tender mercies from the Lord! I've mentioned these occurrences to people in the past and they have asked what is meant by the term, "tender mercies". The best way for me to define one of these is that the Lord  gives us blessings at times when we need them. They are empathetic forms of compassion and love that we hold dear!

I heard from all my boys at Christmas time. Yes, all of them -- Kenny, Jeremy, Thomas, Khuyag, and JON! Through different avenues of technology these memories transpired. I believe all happened due to my wishes and desires to feel love from my boys, all of whom were not with me during this time!

Khuyag, our exchange student from Mongolia, called us and then Face-booked us over the holidays. We have so many wonderful memories of this young man who lived in our home over 8 years ago. He grew to love American traditions! He is truly a son!

Thomas, our exchange student from Germany has kept in touch with us through phone calls, Facebook, emails and Skype! It means the world to us when he contacts us to show his gratitude for the wonderful memories he has of America and our family. How'd we get so lucky to have such great young men in our home?

And then I got to hear from my 3 amigos! 

Jeremy texted us throughout the day, sharing his excitement of playing Santa Claus along with photos he had taken all day. He truly is a gift-giver that enjoys the season. He takes after me in that he does not sleep much on Christmas Eve.

Kenny called us later in the day. What a joy it was to hear about him hosting 24 people in his new home. He has learned well how to show hospitality to his guests. At the close of our conversation I heard Jon's voice on the phone and as I said goodbye, I said, "I love you, Jon". 

As you can imagine, Kenny began to giggle and probably thought his mom was crazy. But I know what I heard was a gift I needed from Heaven -- a tender mercy. So often I pray that I can feel Jon with us and I don't always feel or recognize that he is here. But this time I cannot deny that I felt him with me.

I posted this poem on my facebook a few days prior and had been praying for an experience such as the one I just described.

I wish Heaven had a phone so I could hear your voice again. 

I thought of you today, but that is nothing new. 

I thought about you yesterday and days before that too. 

I think of you in silence, I often speak your name. 

All I have are memories and your picture in a frame. 

Your memory is a keepsake from which I’ll never part. 

God has you in His arms, I have you in my heart.

And of course I cannot leave out my "Prissy". Although we didn't hear from her on Christmas, we were able to spend Christmas Eve with her and her husband's family. It was a lot of fun and so nice to be included in their festivities. I love the growth that we are seeing in our family! It will only continue!

Although we were physically without our family Christmas morning, I truly felt it was one of the happiest of my life. I believe it is because I know they were with me in heart and spirit. The memories of all these contacts from my children have affected my life. I always think about how life is not the same since our Jon went to heaven. But now I realize that even if he were here our Christmas' would always be different now. That is just part of life changing. Perhaps I really am growing up.....