I share the stand today with three wonderful youth, all of whom have been in my classes in the past. It feels good to mingle with them! It's no wonder that I love teenagers. They give me hope for the future and a passion for today. One of my sons teases me that the majority of my Facebook friends are between the ages of 12 to 25. He finds that quite comical, but I have to say I feel fortunate that these valiant young men and women consider me "their friends". They inspire me every day and often give me opportunities to "mother, nuture, and instruct".
I had the opportunity to help raise 4 children, been a guardian over a couple others through Exchange programs, and an instructor to perhaps hundreds of others. Motherhood is something I cherish, but Mother's Day is sometimes a difficult holiday for women. Not every woman has a loving mother, some women don't have children of their own, and others may not have good relationships with their own children. It may also be a difficult observance for men – those who may have lost their mothers or wives, or those who are experiencing mothers with issues of aging or poor health. Or perhaps is it just a lot of pressure to come up with a great gift! For reasons such as these, and many others, celebrating Mother's Day may not always feel like a celebration. Rather it may feel like a day of guilt, especially since we women have a tendency to compare ourselves to other women, and likewise feel inadequate. On Mother's Day we're reminded of all the things we should be doing, we hear how wonderful and "perfect' other mothers are, and we think how our lives and situations aren't like those of the women around us.
The past few Mother's Days have been bitterly painful for me. After losing our son, Jon, these type of holidays were a reminder of my loss. Last year, after crying throughout the entire church services and barely making it through the RS lesson without bursting into sobs, I decided I'd had enough. When I returned home I decided that I wasn't going to put myself through that again.
I needed to have a change of heart. I needed to appreciate what I had, not what I did not have. But I needed help to get me through this transition. Although there have been a lot of angels here that have eased my pain, I knew I must seek for assistance from my Savior.
Excerpt from Elder Bednar's talk: (Atonement and the Journey of Mortality, April 2012)
The Savior has suffered not just for our iniquities but also for the inequality, the unfairness, the pain, the anguish, and the emotional distresses that so frequently beset us. There is no physical pain, no anguish of soul, no suffering of spirit, no infirmity or weakness that you or I ever experience during our mortal journey that the Savior did not experience first. You and I in a moment of weakness may cry out, "No one understands. No one knows." No human being, perhaps, knows. But the Son of God perfectly knows and understands, for He felt and bore our burdens before we ever did. And because He paid the ultimate price and bore that burden, he has perfect empathy and can extend to us His arm of mercy in so many phases of our life. He can reach out, touch, succor--literally run to us-- and strengthen us to be more than we could ever be and help us to do that which we could never do through relying upon only our own power.
In Matthew we read, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
"Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly of heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
"For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light".
We are told often how important it is for us to have a CHANGE OF HEART. Whatever ails you today, (male or female) I would invite you to create a change of attitude so that this day is not one of pain, but of celebration.
You can recognize women who are grateful to be a daughter of God by their attitude. They know that the errand of angels is given to women, and they desire to be on God's errand to love His children and minister to them, to teach them the doctrines of salvation, to call them to repentance, to save them in perilous circumstances, to guide them in the performance of His work, to deliver His messages. They understand that they can bless their Father's children in their homes and neighborhoods and beyond. Women who are grateful to be daughters of God bring glory to His name.
I LOVE being a woman – I know God loves his sons and daughter equally, but we have different roles to help bring to pass the eternal life of his children. I look forward to hearing about men and the Priesthood next month as we celebrate Father’s Day….. we need each other!
In the 138th section of the D&C we learn, “As spirit daughter's of God, women received their first lessons in the world of spirits and were prepared to come forth on earth because they would be given a physical body with the opportunity to be proven in a mortal sphere.” They wished to work side by side with righteous men to accomplish eternal goals that neither can attain independently.
Female roles did not begin on earth, and they do not end here. A woman who treasures motherhood on earth will treasure motherhood in the world to come, and where her treasure is, there will her heart be also.
I believe the Lord uses the words MOTHER AND WOMEN interchangeably, almost SYNONYMOUS in the scriptures and in the world. I came to this conclusion when I was pondering what wisdom I could impart to you today. While reflecting my last temple attendance, I was thinking ---The word mother has layers of meaning. (See Genesis 3:20) After the creation, God the father and Adam had a conversation about the woman that was created. Adam told the Father that he would call this woman, Eve "because she was The mother of all living" – this describer came long before she ever bore a child.
Like Eve, our motherhood began before we were born. Just as worthy men were foreordained to hold the priesthood in mortality, righteous women were endowed pre-mortally with the privilege of motherhood. Motherhood is more than bearing children, it is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us.
President Gordon B. Hinckley said that Women are born with and have the inherent right and authority to be the saviors of human souls.....and the regenerating force in the lives of God's children.
As daughters of our Heavenly Father, and as daughters of Eve, we are all mothers and we each have the responsibility to love and help lead the rising generation. How will our young women learn to live as women of God unless they see what women of God look like, meaning what we wear, watch, and read; how we fill our time and our minds; how we face temptation and uncertainty; where we find true joy; and why modesty and femininity are hallmarks of righteous women? How will our young men learn to value women of God if we don't show them the virtue of our virtues?
(Story from the Book of Judges in the Old Testament) --
After Moses and Joshua were no longer leading the Israelites, the people became victims of idolatry. It was about 1125 BC and they lived in a state of self-centeredness – A “MEMEME Society”.
In Judges 21:25 it states, “In those days there was no king in Israel: every man did that which was right in his own eyes”.
The Lord provided some order in having 12 judges in place – one to judge over each of the tribes. One of these was a woman named Deborah. She was a prophetess, judge, and deliverer of her people. She fulfilled her role better than most as she acted with honesty, integrity, courage, unwavering faith, and unquestioning obedience. She was honored with great responsibilities both by her own people and by the Lord. She judged her people righteously; she heard and acted upon the word of the Lord when it came to her; she accompanied the Israelite army; and she gave glory to the Lord for her people’s deliverance.
She was an inspired woman with a strong testimony and called upon by the Lord to perform various tasks.
She followed the example of other women in the Old Testament by recognizing a need, heeding the word of the Lord, and acting accordingly.
When her work was finished, rather than gloat in her power and success, she gave praise to the Lord and in Judges 5:7 she states, I Deborah arose, a mother in Israel”.
She knew her calling was to help deliver her people to safety.
Deborah was already well known as a prophetess and respected for her Godly character. She was the Lord’s spokesperson. She inspired her nation as a leader and a wife and they respected her for her Godly character.
Deborah’s understanding of Israel’s potential for spiritual greatness stemmed from her maternal love. She held hope for Israel and inspired renewed sense of value as God’s chosen people, and exhibited a woman’s ability to instill rather than impose, to invigorate rather than force, and to cultivate rather than command.
As a judge Deborah brought a feminine sensibility to a male dominated office. She referred to herself as a “mother to Israel” and her commitment to nurturing fit this title. Deborah’s leadership style was selfless, focusing on the people rather than on herself. This, together with her appreciation and knowledge of the scriptures and her prophetic gift, marked her for national rejuvenation. Deborah embraced and utilized the full extent of a woman’s power for positive change. As wife, judge, prophetess and mother, and in the role of commander in chief, she was indeed a Mother to Israel sustaining her feminine power to educate, encourage, and uplift, even in times of war.
The word mother is linked to Deborah’s patient nurturing of the nation of Israel back to spiritual health, much like a mother would nurture her child back to physical health. Deborah had the capacity to inspire change with a mother’s ability to admonish, ways that encouraged and motivated her followers to create a better life.
Acccordingly, when we effect positive change and inspire strength and commitment in others, we contribute to our own well-being. As we grow in spiritual service and awareness, we influence our family, benefit others and partner with the Lord, changing the world around us.
As mother's of Zion, we are the Lord's secret weapon. When Satan's tool is to declare war on motherhood and the family, it is crucial for us to take action and understand that motherhood is the highest, holiest service assumed by mankind. Our Father has entrusted us as women with His children, and He has asked us to love them and help lead them safely past the dangers of mortality back home.
If we will stay right with our youth, meaning if we will love them, in most cases they will stay right with us -- meaning, they will let us lead them. In all my experiences in teaching the youth, I would guess that most do not remember any specific lesson that I taught. I would hope that they will never forget the love that I had for them and the testimony I shared.
I’ve had many different stages of mothering. Now that I am an "empty-nester" mother I find myself (rather being in a time of rest), one of URGENCY. I still have the opportunity of mothering and soon "grand-mothering", (but that will be from a distance), so I must find other ways to mother, because I know it is my responsibility. When we understand our divine role, we can have peace and purpose.
We must lead by example, consistently and diligently living gospel principles. This takes daily determination and practice.
-- Elder Robert D. Hales story from conference a couple session ago – He shared that his grandson was spending time with them. At breakfast time, as ritual would have it, Elder Hales read his daily newspaper. His grandson positioned himself between the newspaper and his grandpa and said, “Grandpa, are you there?”
This story emulates the importance that we are there for our youth.
Being there means understanding the hearts of our youth and connecting with them. I love to connect by attending the youth’s activities – musical performances, track meets, etc. I have even had the privilege of weeding the garden with youth of the ward. The opportunity to sit, work, and talk with a child and show our interest in them and their life is critical.
Can they feel our love?
President Henry B. Eyring -- Heavenly Father wants and needs our help to bring his spirit children home to Him again. We help God's children best by providing ways to build faith in Jesus Christ and His restored gospel when they are young. And then we must help rekindle that faith quickly before it dims as they wander off the path. Foreseeing the needs of His children, a loving Heavenly Father placed directions and rescuers along their way. He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to make safe passage possible and visible. He called as His prophet in these times President Thomas S. Monson. Heavenly Father has assigned us to a great variety of stations to strengthen and, when needed, to lead travelers to safety. Our most important and powerful assignments are in the family – Role of parents, brothers and sisters, grandparents, aunts and uncles are made more powerful guides and rescuers by the bonds of love that are the very nature of family.
We all can help. We can all be rescuers.
Besides showing our love and connecting with our youth, another help we can give young people is to let them feel our confidence that they are on the path home to God and that they can make it. And we do that best by going with them. Because the path is steep and sometimes rocky, they will at times feel discouraged and stumble. They may at times become confused about their destination and wander after less eternally important goals. We can assist our youth by walking beside them and invite them to receive and keep the companionship of the Holy Ghost.
My daughter-in-law, Jerah, texted me this morning. She thanked me for the best gift ever, the gift of my son. There is not much better than knowing that your children are loved and adored by their spouses. When I thought about this message I thought how grateful I am for my heavenly parents, who gave their son to me…..and to you – to help us through our pain and anguish, and celebrate our joys and happiness. Some days are easier than others, but a change of attitude is possible.
We are created in the image of God to become like Him. Mother's day encompasses the celebration of motherhood--the divine nature GIVEN to women. May we all feel a deeper appreciation for the great blessings of motherhood not just when we celebrate Mother's Day, but everyday.
You are amazing! Thank you for posting your talk. I am so excited to have our little one and understand motherhood in a different way.
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